The Arizona Cardinals ownership announced a bunch of stadium renovation plans yesterday, and since the only outlets reporting on it were the tattered remnants of Sports Illustrated and The Athletic and they pretty much just reprinted the press release, there’s no way of knowing how much the work will cost or who will pay for it. So for the moment, let’s just enjoy some of the more bonkers aspects of the renderings, because there are plenty.
First, though, let’s visit part of the press release, which is bonkers in its own way:
Last year, the Cardinals had the least expensive gameday experience in the NFL according to Team Marketing Report’s 2023 Fan Cost Index and affordability will remain in 2024. In addition, those fans seeking an unparalleled, upscale way to enjoy Cardinals games at State Farm Stadium will have an array of breath-taking new options starting this season.
Translation: “We’re charging our fans less than any other team! We want to keep things affordable, but we also want to charge as much as possible to people who can afford it, so here’s some stuff we think we can get away with charging through the nose for!”
Like what? Like this:
This is being dubbed a casita, or mini-house, which in this case means ripping out the seats behind the end zones and replacing them with tiny lounge areas with seating outside of and on top of it, to be enjoyed by … I’m sorry, what are these people wearing to a football game? Is there a heterosexist business executive cosplay convention in town? That would explain why there’s no one else at all in the stadium, though it’s left to the imagination what everyone here is watching if it’s not a football game.
Not to be confused with the casitas is the Casita Garden Club, which has no actual casitas, but does offer the chance to take photos of the Cardinals players while they … taunt you? I honestly can’t figure out what’s going on here, but I do wholeheartedly approve of the choice to show one of the clip-art fans facing away from the players she or her corporate employer paid so much for her to be near, the better to use them as a backdrop for her selfie.
Then there are the “field seats” built right out onto the field, or at least into the sideline area. Again, this is an extremely poorly attended game, despite the opportunity to, apparently, walk right up to the visiting team as they take the field, or even go on the field yourself, not like there’s a barrier or anything stopping you. Maybe this will be the ultimate premium experience, where if you pay enough for a ticket you can actually be a part of the game? In that case these fans are definitely dressed all wrong for it, at least one of the guys in the second image is wearing a souvenir jersey — and, it appears, possibly souvenir shoulder pads — so he might last a few seconds before going down with a traumatic brain injury.
All this, plus “an array of all-inclusive high-end menu offerings and handcrafted cocktails, beer and wine,” can be yours for only … okay, pricing isn’t available yet, but just put down a $10,000 deposit and we’ll start there. If these plutocrat pens can pay for themselves, more power to the Cardinals for identifying a market, I guess, but it’s absolutely a sign that income inequality is way out of control.
Since all of these features are plopped onto the field pan, or the South end, these have to be temporary, movable structures. The Cardinals will still probably try to find a way to make AZSTA pay. Based on the prices for resale tickets last season, the Cardinals must be getting really desperate for every possible penny of revenue. The Diamondbacks have a serious structural problem with Chase Field that has nothing to do with the roof closing mechanism. Even after a second trip to the World Series, the Diamondbacks have about twice as many seats as they can ever sell. 25,000 empty seats that never go away is an incredibly serious structural problem. And the Coyotes think they can spend hundreds of millions on land and infrastructure, and then a billion on an arena? In the cheapskate Phoenix market, with virtually no corporate headquarters and on a sport nobody in the Sonoran Desert cares about?
But Neil, you left out the best part of the Cardinals’ renovation plans: “Guests will be among the first anywhere to enjoy a game from a Monaco Dream Seat, a large, comfortable leather seat that is being used for the first time at any stadium in the world.”
However, I much prefer my comfortably worn Archie Bunker chair, from home, with cheaper beer.
Apparently you can already get one for your home, but this way you can have one at the game, too:
https://www.houzz.com/products/seatcraft-monaco-leather-home-theater-seating-power-recline-black-row-of-2-prvw-vr~115770057
I don’t think they are ripping out seats, the one end zone has always been open with temporary seating. For larger events they put in proper sections of seats in that end zone. The link has a view of what’s usually there for Cardinals games: https://www.azfamily.com/2022/09/02/behind-the-scenes-tours-glendales-state-farm-stadium-set-resume-this-month/?outputType=amp
Removing temporary seats, then? If this is the space where the field slides out, are they going to need to remove the casitas between games? Or would they be on a platform somehow?
Another new, upscale innovation, Neil, hover-casitas!
The future is being realized, right here in Arizona!
https://www.archdaily.com/769169/could-hovering-buildings-be-the-future-of-sustainability
The floor is concrete with steel rails about every 10 feet, so the field can slide out. Anything there has to be moved every time the field is slid in or out. This Casita scheme could also indicate how hard it is to sell the temporary end zone seats
Oh they can sell them. Just not for as much as they can realize from the sale of tiny houses.
I love the idea that you can schlep over to Glendale to watch the game from a little house instead of just watching the game from your big house in Paradise Valley or wherever.
Rich people, man.
With my 65 inch 120 refresh rate TV, going to the game with traffic, parking, crowded restrooms, security lines and overpriced food and drink, is less and less attractive. Spending hundreds of millions on “renovations” or billions on a new stadium doesn’t change that. Allegiant Stadium is a good example of how spending billions on a stadium doesn’t produce a pleasant experience, unless you consider walking 2 miles in 100 degree heat a pleasant experience.
Oh, I’m with you. The NFL, particularly, stands for No Fun Live. But it’s extending to them all now. No sports are worth leaving the house for anymore. Let the rich have them.
(BTW, Cardinal fans are funny on social media, complaining about “real fans” being displaced for these casitas. As if they have not been paying attention for the last several years.)
That’s kind of modern sports’ business model, really: Market tickets to people with a ton of disposable income, and sell streaming subscriptions to everyone else, and maybe get them to splurge on one or two games a year in person
It’s more successful in a sport like football than baseball, where you have to sell tickets to 81 games a year. It really makes me wonder if they’ll start shortening the baseball season soon, especially as the postseason keeps growing.
I don’t agree. College sports – other than football and basketball – are still good value live.
The Casitas are going in the south end zone, which is currently called the Red Zone. Yes, the field slides in through there. The Casitas would have to be a semi-portable.
Or holographic.
Has anyone ever sat in those field level sideline suites? Can you actually see anything with an entire football team standing in front of you? My college team tarps off the first 3 rows because the seats are so bad
Exactly. I avoid the first 8-10 rows at most football games (at least in stadia where the first row is at field level – or below) because you literally can’t see anything from field level.
Indoor/covered facilities do not need a crowned field for drainage, but even so, 45 football players that avg 6’2″ in height are pretty hard to see over when you are sitting down behind them. And even though you might be able to see the far side of the field, the angle you have on it is so poor you have no idea whether the players are on the field or on the far sideline.
But hey, rich people don’t go to games to watch, they go to be seen by other people.
Or they go to take selfies that prove how close they are.
It doesn’t look like a renovation at all. It looks like instead of installing their usual removable end zone seating, they’re dropping some container ship boxes altered into clubs.
Are we sure blue dress lady is taking a selfie?
I prefer to imagine that cab hailing purse woman has been spotted on the first concourse deck and blue dress lady is taking a photo of her instead.